The Battle of Actium, September 2, 31 BCE

The battle for the Roman world
Came down to boy meets boy meets girl:

Antonius, Caesar’s magister,

Was mired in a love affair

With Cleopatra Philopater

(Who also was his children’s mater).

He picked a very foolish fight--

In truth he wasn’t very bright.

He challenged young Octavian

Agrippa, and his navy and

Then with his queen began a battle

With ships stuffed full of sails and chattel.

Thus the once-triumvirate

Their ships with weapons aristate,

Met and clashed in mighty fracas

Rome v. posse comitatus,

Led by M. Vipsan. Agrippa

Naval whiz and valiant skipper.

For Cleo and Marc Antony

There would be no amnesty;

In manner most Shakespearian

(Some would say, ophidian)

They shuffled off their mortal coils

Leaving Rome with all the spoils.

Octavian had won the Nile,

Its grain, its every crocodile;

And though the war was slightly civil

No one raised the smallest cavil

Octavian, in fact of matter

Was made a triple triumphator.

And so that day at Actium

Augustus won imperium.

Like a less depressed Aeneas,

(Devoid of any thought impious)

He gave the world the Pax Romana

In truth, Memento Augustana*.

*Neuter accusative plural- things Augustan.